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I HAVE ONE MISSION:
To help struggling family caregivers, like you, find your unique path to caring for your aging parents while keeping your confidence high, and your stress low!
Because taking care of aging parents should be less about surviving, and more about thriving...for all of you.
I know you're struggling to manage your life and aging parent care
You can tell the truth here.
I know it's been tough for you.
Are you ready to celebrate some good news?
You're not alone
Being a family caregiver can be one of the most isolating and stressful roles to have on the planet. Add to that, a parent who may suffer from dementia, Alzheimer's Disease or have behavior problems. They may have heavy care needs or be an "emotional vampire". Your family may not be meeting your expectations to help out and it's been really tough! You think other family caregivers have it all figured out (they don't) and that you’re the one special snowflake who just can’t get it right (you're not).
And why wouldn’t you think that? For some reason we've come to believe we should just be naturally good at caring for our aging parents. But why? What's the benefit of beating ourselves up and thinking we should be good at something that we've never learned how to do?
Here’s the deal. Managing parent care without stress, overwhelm or drama is a totally learnable skill. And it is a skill. But first we have to accept that just-like-learning how to tie your shoe or ride a bike, there’s a little learning involved.
You are incredibly capable
I mean look at you. You've raised your family and are successful in your career. You are proving everyday that you can have an organized, successful, satisfying life with great relationships. But, somehow, when it comes to managing the needs of your aging parent, you don't feel so capable.
It seems like there's a curtain hanging between you and your parent. You feel like there are too many unknowns and you don't even know where to start. Or you feel like the more you try to help, the more you are pushed away. Or the more you try to intervene, the more shaky your relationship becomes. You're not sure how to deal with their resistance and changing behavior. Parent care is definitely affecting other major parts of your life. You feel stressed, overwhelmed, and dare I say - burned out? It doesn't have to be this way. Sure, it feels daunting right now, but that's understandable.
All you need is to pull back that curtain so you can see what makes for parent care magic. Your parent can have all their needs met and be safe and happy at home, or wherever they are. You can deal with parent care and not be stressed or overwhelmed all the time. You can balance aging parent care with all the other important things in your life. And (I know it's crazy to say), you can take a vacation and NOT have to be on speed dial the entire time!
How do I know all this?
It started with THAT call. That call from my then, 91 year old Dad back in 2017. He called to advise me that because he was "gettin' on up there in age" that he wanted to move closer to me. Gulp! Well, of course I can handle this. I am a Geriatric Social Worker, after all, I know my stuff, how hard can it be?
Over the last few years, I've come to know a few things:
- I know what it's like to worry about how many more times Dad can fall down without cracking his head open.
- I know what it's like to wake up 18 times in the night because Dad is trying to get out of bed again.
- I know what it's like to transition Dad into (yet another) facility and keep my fingers crossed that they will take good care of him.
- I know what it's like to be terrified of the thought of Dad ending up in the hospital and not knowing what he would want us to do for him.
- I know what it's like to feel like I'm putting my job in jeopardy every time I have to ask my boss for time off again so I could take care of Dad.
- I know what it's like to be absolutely overwhelmed with Dad and all the other important things going on in life and wonder how I could I POSSIBLY continue to do this?
But now, I also know what it's like to:
- Not let memory problems and delusions overwhelm me
- Have unwavering confidence that NO MATTER WHAT, I can handle WHATEVER comes up for Dad
- Establish reasonable BOUNDARIES that are good for me, and stick to them
- Have NO DOUBT my future of parent care will NOT include stress, overwhelm or burnout
- BALANCE my family, career, life AND parent care
I stuck it out and learned what was needed and I know YOU can too!
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this; in reality, your parent is not likely going to change. The only thing that you can change is their circumstances and YOU.
You have to decide if you're ready to invest in the knowledge and skills needed to make that happen. I can help.
Nothing will change until you do.
I really do know that it seems like no matter how hard you try, it never seems to be enough, and you have less and less time for yourself.
I promise, I'm not attached to the Alexa in your house!
Managing aging parent care is really hard work.
What you're experiencing is tough, but it's normal.
Things can be so topsy turvy that you can forget what it's like to love your parent like you want to. You just want to enjoy them again.
I've worked with hundreds of you.
It's your story that keeps me going and determined to help you.
You really aren't alone.
There are solutions to the overwhelm you can't seem to find your way out of and I can teach you exactly what to do.